What are the Funniest Christmas Movies?
When it came up, we were talking about HQ: what's the funniest Christmas movie of all time?
And look, we know there are many arguments about Die Hard, but let's be honest, only dudes who talk endlessly about crypto and can't get a right swipe care about Die Hard being a Christmas movie.
Nightmare Before Christmas is a classic, but it's not funny, and it's got touching moments and a cool-looking werewolf, but not a comedy.
As we argued by the fireside dressed in footy pajamas, chasing one another with stocking caps on our heads, we had to come to an agreement on which comedy made us shit our pants with laughter.
I mean, this lunatic asylum is run by professional comedians, after all, so who better to argue about the finer points of getting kicked in the nuts or farting on Santa's lap?
We picked our favorites just like everyone else, and zero surprises were found in the stack. It's the time-honored favorites we all love and cherish.
Everyone else makes a list, so fuck you, we can too.
Without further ado, here's the Big Laugh Comedy Top Five Christmas Movies That in no way, Shape or Form will Shock you:
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Break out the Marty Moose mugs, and get yourself somethin' real nice, Clark. You knew it would be number one. It's the most fantastic Christmas movie of all time. Anyone who doesn't like this movie is immediately suspect.
It's quotable, it only gets funnier with age, and everyone still hates Clark's neighbors.
Here's a little teaser...
Todd Chester: Hey, Griswold. Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?
Clark: Bend over, and I'll show you.
Todd Chester: You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that, Griswold.
Clark: [looking at his wife, Margo] I wasn't talking to you.
Seriously, what jobs do Kevin's parents do to afford a house that big while also taking NINE people to PARIS? What the fuck?
Also, who doesn't like seeing bad guys getting whacked in the nuts with paint cans? Plus, the soundtrack is pretty rad, too.
Everyone loves Buddy the Elf.
Who doesn't want to see a mailroom full of petty criminals fall in love with a grown man who loves the Christmas spirit?
It's got Mr. Narwhal, Ed Asner, and Bob Newhart....all with a magical elf who was likely a virgin who starts a family with a chick who immediately didn't lose romantic interest with someone who's got the intellect of a seven-year old.
But the guy can throw some fucking snowballs.
Not the movie everyone was expecting, but if you've never seen this Bill Murray classic, you need to go stream it right now.
It's got an all-star line of 1980's comics, plus Bill Murray's mullet is fantastic.
Billy Bob Thornton's greatest role.
Yeah, there's Slingblade and Monster's Ball, but who cares. Drunk Santa sleeping with bartenders, hanging out with Thurman Murman, and barely functioning as a human should be the milestone we set for life well-lived.
What's your favorite Christmas movie? Did we miss one?