Important Notice From Big Laugh Comedy Human Resources

By: Bob Eckstein

Dear Big Laugh Comedy Employees,

It is with great excitement that I announce the first non-virtual office party for Big Laugh Comedy since 2019. I will be sending out details as to the location, but please mark your calendars for Thursday the 29th. 

There is no need to RSVP as attendance is mandatory by all staff and employees in all departments. 

Much thought and debate has gone into our first celebration of the holidays for some time and it was not an easy decision. 

What I can share with you is that the theme this year, is “Stop Quiet Quitting.” 

Our first concern, as with any party of course, is your safety. As we all know, there has been an uptick of Covid and flu cases in the office in the past weeks - both real, imagined and planned. 

That said, we encourage that party attendees use the fist-bump as taught at the training sessions as their first line of affection. Refrain from hugging, cheek kissing or full-out making out. Festive face masks will be available at the entrance along with sanitary hand spray and name tags as many of us have never met each other.

According to office rumors, for many this party signifies a chance to make up for lost time and go crazy. Our office parties have in the past been synonymous with over-drinking. 

For this reason, New Year’s week is always a very busy one for Human Resources with many filing complaints of indiscretions, inappropriate behavior and just plain regrettable hook-ups, sometimes leading to both demotions or promotions. 

We ask you drink responsibly and to understand it will be a cash bar. 

For those who have already made up your mind to get wasted, we have arranged to randomly pick a designated drivers at the door. 

For those hoping to “get some,” we are here for you at Human Resources to make sure it’s consensual sex. Sex consent forms are available now at the HR office or can be emailed to you. 

Please contact Kate. You will need to bring the signed forms in duplicate to the party on the 29th and Kate will process them as needed depending if you get lucky. This will make things a lot simpler for all of us and can save you any embarrassment, and possibly your job, later. 

And remember, we ask you respect your partner’s choice of pronoun of He, She or Them/They when screaming cries of ecstasy.

The main thing is we want you to have fun. But be safe. We all worked hard throughout the year and here’s your chance to see face-to-face who you have been working with the past few years. But do it safely. 

Happy Holidays and see you ALL on the 29th.

Stay well, stay funny, stay six feet back,

Elise L. McHenney, Human Resources

PS - Bob Eckstein's new book is now available for purchase! Buy The Complete Book of Cat Names (That Your Cat Won't Answer to, Anyway) here now.
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